The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 16, 2006

Friday’s show…
Asks Goudeau “How’s the Lance Burton Show?”
Goudeau tells him there’s a 10th anniversary party – Penn is ‘invited’.

Today’s topic: Christians, Facing the Giants.

Confluence of stupidity!

The Aristocrats did not have an MPAA rating.

Penn agrees with the christian nuts. Nut christians and nut atheists unite!

Creepy creepycreepy creepycreepy creepy creepy!

Why should we have the MPAA?

Non-elected anonymous is just unAmerican

Bush fines breast!

Caller Bob: Goudeau is worried about Bob.Important point.
Screaming SteveHawking discussed.

Caller Mike: MPAA cuts out minorities. Passion of Mel Gibson is a snuff film. Christ vs Freddie Kruger.

The nut point of view.


MPAA pushes homogeneity

Caller: MPAA lesser of two evils. No MPAA = more government meddling.
Freedom is the answer – self-regulation is not the answer.

EZ won the tri-state videogame olympics in the 80s

Caller Paul: You should watch movies with your kids (Goudeau saw Cars)

Let Paul go…

Caller Line Five (Brian): New ratings.

Patrick asked a question.
Goudeau and Herbie
Patrick gets “arthritis”.


EZ is sitting in and has told Penn about her win.
She was 16, won 5 games and won a motorcycle!

Gmail Greg: Christian Libertarian applauds Penn.
A flying crap.

Caller Ralph: Film distibution guy: Porno is nothing to do with MPAA. The movie “This Film Is Not Yet Rated” is discussed.

Honest review of Aristocrats.

Caller Vinnie: Catholic church’s movie guide.
(remember, Penn’s code for getting rid of callers is “Thanks for Calling” he he he).

EZ is reading.

Caller Arthur: There should be some kind of rating…

A monumental Penn Jillette show.
In favor of nut Christians.

The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 15, 2006

Piano and bass version of theme music brings us into the show, Penn talks about playing bass and problems during the Penn and Teller Show.

Daryl Hannah up a tree.

Three Stooges connection?
Eddie Gorodetsky’s Mel Gibson joke.

Caller Karen: Publicity and government land grabs. Penn thinks Ralph Horowitz is a great American hero. Goudeau will google him just in case he’s a neo-nazi or something.

Caller Gordon: Hippy groups have no scruples. 12 stooges? Name the stooges and the baldwin brothers.

Caller Joe: Wonderfully poetic idea, but Penn thinks it’s wrong.


They can only find seven Stooges but Penn believes there were 12. See also blue man group

They were paying rent ($1 per year)

Caller Curtis: Cites the play ‘Rent’. Penn is fascinated. Penn is Gobsmacked!

Mentions Dino.

Gmail from Eddie Fingers – Winona Ryder’s real name is Winona Laura Horowitz.

This is a wonderful day for Penn.

Caller Ikhwan: Takes them through the legal position…


Penn and Goudeau are up to eight stooges!
Goudeau goes over the real story of Ralph vs Daryl.

Caller Ned: not there

Caller Dan: 100 smoking monkeys! Penn mentions second hand monkey smoke (and robot killers!).

Happy Jack points out that this is NOTmonkey tuesday.

Gmail from Mistress Xenobia explaining the plot of ‘Rent’. This is the show for dominatrix (dominatrices?).

Caller Damien: Disagrees with Penn. If the government gives you the land – you don’t own it. Penn – we’re mostly making up the facts but this is what we think…

Penn: “Some really cool stuff” I agree!

The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 14, 2006

Flag Day

Bob Corn-Revere has been telling Penn an amendment may be on its way to ban flag burning…
Hilary Clinton is backing this.

Penn burns a flag six nights a week!
Their guest spot on the West Wing is mentioned.
Penn talks about G. Gordon Liddy, then asks for a sane caller.

Penn thinks it’s wrong to make threats

Caller – thinks the US is getting dumber and politicians are too interested in trivia – Penn disagrees with her but loves the word baloney.

Caller John: why don’t you get some showgirls on there with you.

Nice Gmail joke.

More flag burning stuff and get onto BBQ ZOO.

Hilary mentioned again – Penn would like to talk to at least one anti flag-burner.


Bill Frist’s proposed amendment is today’s topic.

Caller Chris: not there

P&T; got their idea for the flag-burning trick after their Magic and Mystery Tour seeing human rights issues around the world. They came back feeling pretty patriotic.

Caller Chris: Retired Police Lieutenant is offended by the burning of an American Flag. Penn agrees with his on everything but cites the first amendment. They kinda agree about jogging down the street naked.

Penn gets serious but still wants more people jogging down the street naked. Even Patrick.


Penn doesn’t want to change subjects…

“The Nut Point of View.”

Gmail from Ken – these people will want to ban anything offensive(!)

Caller Izzy: Burning a flag should end your freedom of speech. Penn disagrees.

Caller Nick: Burning flags vs Flag boxer shorts.
Penn (and Michael): It all comes down to intent…
TAM mentioned.

Caller Mike: Symbols and spotting terrorists.
“Keep your eye on me I’m an evil nut”

Gmail from James – three men…

Goudeau on flag burning: This is a robot killer: Limiting freedom in the name of freedom!?!? Argh!

We’ve only got another minute…

so they talk it out…

The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 13, 2006

Monkey Tuesday

All Monkeys All The Time

This show will feature a Dominatrix.

Death of Gy?rgy Ligeti mentioned. Penn tells a 2001 story.

Sweet story from English high school teacher called John.

Mistress Victoria Thrashing (calling from Red Stick). “I deal in class, sugah!” – kinky monkey story…

Sex workers as performance art:
Letterman monologue story
Penn’s story from page 58 of Cruel Tricks (i know, i know)


Cool monkey theme music – Mad Caddies
Penn was wrong (W.Wrongy Wrongenstein) – the 2001 theme is by Strauss (Goudeau – Levi Strauss!!)

Caller (Monkey vs paperboy) – Shaved Monkey!

When LOD came on he wanted to rise to the standard of Monkey Tuesday – he thought it was like that every day.

“So, you’re in trouble again!”
W.Wrongy Wrongenstein


MikeJones – plugged again – good thing too!

Caller Chet – Smoking monkey story

Caller – Thanksgiving with Zippy (who was wearing a bandana)

Penn and Goudeau have had lunch with chimps on a number of occasions. Tarzan doesn’t double dip.

Gmail – Monkey dressed as a Mexican wrestler, bahaving badly.

Caller Anthony – Mr Jiggs gets violent…

“Larry King never gets calls like these!”

Mistress Victoria should get a chimp.

Orangutan wrestling… maybe another time.

The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 12, 2006

The guys were away ALL LAST WEEK ? we heard recordings – we were suckered!!!!

Today?s topic ? Fat Tax.
A tax on corn syrup.

Penn’s friend in Florida is wild about regulation. His emails make Penn mad.

Random quote: Corn Syrup is “the crack of sweeteners”.

Happy Birthday to Adam Corolla’s kids. (Twins Natalia and Santino “Sonny” Carolla, born on June 7th, 2006)

Moxie voted “Worst celebrity kid name”.

Caller John (skinny) – Med Student respectfully disagrees with Penn.
Penn’s view: the government is force. Anyway, $42billion go to subsidise corn farmers – why not stop that instead of a new tax?

Penn argues for a while and then blasts the new Beatles show in Vegas

Caller Melanie (didn’t/wouldn’t say if she was fat) argues that junk food is cheaper – Penn (surprise surprise) disagrees, then backtracks over prepared food. They both agree about the importance of education.


Gmail from Natasha (not fat). Sides with Penn.

First they control cigarettes, then food. Quick “Nanny State” rant.

Caller Neil (300 pounds 6ft) – No food tax! We keep losing rights and having raised taxes… Turn corn oil into alcohol into fuel? Penn kinda disagrees and suggests a free market solution.

Penn makes a straw man out of the first caller. “Eating makes you fat”

Anorexics on TV.

Penn didn’t know the cream at Starbucks was fat.

“People know what makes you fat” mini-rant including digs at Happy Jack and Elvis.


This tax is just a suggestion from the American Medical Association.

Goudeau gets frustrated.

A whole generation of short fat kids

Caller Chris – (are you the one who talks?) Does not believe in Darwinism BUT wonders about natural selection of fat people. Penn and Goudeau fixate on the Darwinism bit.

Cigarettes were taxed because of the money.

This is not a show about Darwinism (Goudeau argues that they can fit it in – and they do!)

Marvin Minsky mentioned.


Public service announcements always suck

Caller – Tom (i don’t know if this is true but…) Hippie point of view on corn syrup? Goudeau looks it up – finds nothing.
Penn sings Jump in the Fire by Metallica to the tune of it’s a small world and fails (Penn sings his own lyric instead).

Caller Mike – (promises not to sing) Control by taxation. “Most Worst” Caller?

The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 09, 2006

They mentioned Mamma Mia and Goedeau’s wife who has appeared in it in the past and may appear in it again.

Today’s guest is Wendy Liebman who talked about being a stepmom, topics for bulls hit and the fact that she married into a Disney family. Then they talked about American Idol and The View. And they mentioned the Aristocrats. A lot.

They talked about trying not to be sexy and pretending to be flat chested. Wendy does her own censorship on the show. She tells of when a smelly Indian did a mind-reading trick – Penn asks “Was it David Blaine?” and then tries to explain the trick. Or maybe it was God.

“You’re very smart for a woman.”

Penn believes in puppies and love and

The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 08, 2006

Patrick Moore in the studio.

They talk about:
Greenpeace and why he left them (extremism (especially anti-science views) and the influx of left wing activists). Water chlorinisation in Peru. DDT and the World Health Organisation and Paul Driessen. Ecology and politics. The Nuclear Issue. Naming Greenpeace. GM food and Hollywood Sci-fi. Feral Chickens. Salmon farms. Ben Metcalfe. Rainforests and bad math.


Penn’s brother-in-law had Homer Simpson’s job and Penn visited the local nuclear plant when he was a kid. Penn and Patrick’s respective conversions to a pro-nuclear viewpoint. Did you know coal-fired power plants produce more radiation than nuclear plants? Communicating pro-science views when Hollywood hates science. Regulatory burdens of nuclear plants and GM foods. Low-polluting France. Coal vs Hydro vs Nuclear.


Nuclear “waste” vs caffine. Reusing nuclear fuel. “Risk free” power and Penn says something good about France.

Global warming: is it 100% bad? Michael Crichton and certainty (consensus is not a science word). Al Gore sweating in New York. We’ve converted about one third of the ‘green’ parts of our planet for our own use and we’re still not hurting it. Patrick disagrees with James Lovelock. Is there a gaia?

The Penn Jillette Radio Show June 07, 2006

Bobby Slayton in the studio, occasionally finishing sentences.

Topics: Road rage, Asian drivers, bringing a beer, rubbing bacon on the walls, Arabs, eating sandwiches on the steps of the Psycho house, Jewish women and gays, Brokeback Mountain, home schooling, his daughter, marriage, what does Goudeau do?

How Bobby hates radio callers, his daughter’s film, simulated sex, why Bobby is so angry, Arizona cult (12 wives, 75 children), cult clothing, women are out of their minds at least two hours a day, “the talk”, whining, his act is boot camp for relationships, what does Goudeau actually do?

When Bobby’s daughter came to his show, his wife sometimes contributes to the act, The Aristocrats, how to tell a joke, “Provenza, they have lockers!”, how much the film made, “That guy’s the best!!”, chainsaws, Dreamgirls,
still touring, loving/hating your job, making vinegar.